Spirithread

my fabric

oh lord

‘tis so easily crushed

‘tis never ironed

completely

straight again

-BH

7 27 09

I found this in a notebook that I kept whilst I was performing on the road last summer. Found it kind of interesting, so I decided to paste it to my computer screen.

10:17 pm and I've managed to get a hotel room
next to a waffle house.
The guy next to me asks what I'm smokin'
then what I'm writin'
then where I'm from.
10:23 pm and I'm drinkin' coffee
smokin'
and eatin' hashbrowns
in Charlotte, NC
lil' yellow house on the corner
of Sunset rd and _______
make a pilgrimage.
When I left the hotel room
a little black cat
was waitin' for me.
It followed me here.
They wouldn't let her come inside
so from what I can tell
She's waitin' for me at the door.
There's a storm cracklin' outside
lightnin' cuttin' across
the smokey sky
and I'm in love...
too bad she ain't here.
I'd like the comfort
cause I'm broke
worse
deep in the hole
and my bank don't give a shit
but I do.
A big one.
Fuck
Why am I drinkin' coffee?
I'm an insomniac...
that just ain't smart.
The prostitute
on the other side of me
just ordered a chocolate milk
cheeky
And I'm startin' to think
I'm in a segregated restaurant.
All the black people
are on that side,
and the Whites are eyin' me funny
now the blacks
are eyin' me funny...
Hell, the waitress even looks strange
but this guy next to me
didn't say a word.
So I guess I'm alright.
Was my home state
always this way?
Maybe so,
but ain't that America?
Blacks on the Left
Whites on the Right
and a broke, hungry poet
smokin', gettin' wired
and obviously in the wrong place.
With a warm bed next door
a black cat outside
and a woman
who ain't there...

BH
Charlotte NC
7 27 09

so

I posted a poem just now,
then I took it down.

I have a lot of poems
I, for some odd reason,
never post the best ones
(though one day
I'd like to share them).

But this
was neither good
nor bad
nor anything else.

It was talcum powder
or artificial sweetener.
Half an oyster shell
on the hudson's bank,

Or that last grain of rice
sitting in the bowl
longing to serve a purpose
but barely
worth the effort.

So I took it down
because it failed
to do itself justice.

I know
it may be cruel.

I know
I've abandoned my child.

So I'll have a gin drink
or some peppermint tea
let life
do what it does
and see what other demons
I may conjure
as repentance.

-BH

Two Dimensional Me

Patient is my shadow
slowly pondering my fate
sitting still
inside of my
twi-lit den.

Poised is my shadow
in the thinking position
no doubt
that his thoughts
are dark

No doubt
that his thoughts
are of the dark
which is true love
inside of which

He doesn't exist.

Never breathing
unblinking
unflinching
and as substantial
as a single breath.

Faithful is my shadow
as it awaits my return
from the world of light
wishing to share with me
the ideas cultivated
by the dark.

-BH

BH and his Atomic Mind

They found me at the picnic table
protecting my irises with aviator sun glasses
protecting my shoulders
with spiritual burden
chewing steadily on falafel
scribbling some sense
on my wooden tablet

I mean
it's not like i
was trying to hide

I was in the sunlight
skin taking a strange tone
chocolate cherry

I digress

My jeans
took the sun's light
and relayed it's heated message
to my thighs
while my chest
under my t-shirt
got the sun directly

I guess i wasn't feeling
conservative
that day

That day
they found me
in a state of contemplation
so intense
that my brain waves
seemed to radiate
exciting my hair
which spiraled
in spasms of glee

Tiny hairs
stretching from my chin
tiny bags
hanging like
"do not disturb" signs
from my eyelids

And here I was
waiting to be found
as all things are
and I was
and so shall you be

BH.

Ideas of Infinity

Sudden
like the burst
of a thousand
molecular spasms
cradling light
in its earthy bosom
our precious
our love

There's no other aspect
no luminescence
that propels us as readily
through dense curtains of air
so thick in their pollutants

and we
with craniums
with atomic minds
disrupting the dense hypocrisy
of our forefathers...
of ourselves

like the idea
shot us
right out of a canon
and our thoughts
soaring ahead
became a bullet
through God's brain

A life

to live
perchance
to dream

BH

The Stones.

Each stone
slid across the
restful lake's
surface
like a dancer's grapevine
sending ring after ring
rolling along
simulating
reality's many realms
just like sound

However

The fish don't mind.
They continued
their
dawdling meditation
opening mind's eye
to view
abstract pieces
oil painting and sculpture
of worm and fly.

Another stone
skates the surface.
The sub aqueous sonance
is that
of a million
microscopic universal
implosions.

This is terrifying
for paramecium,
but the fish
don't mind,
the stones don't mind,
the lake don't mind.

All is well
the moon is high.
When the stones fly
you can almost
hear their
gleeful resonance...

"Weeeeee!"

-BH

Neck. Tie.

I tie my neck to my shoulders
with silk and cloth,
argyle and tartan,
an inexplicable knot
of Gordian proportions.

I wear a lapelled jacket
to frame my tie,
accentuate it.
Black or blue,
because I have to.

And buy my pants
to match my jacket,
to tuck my shirt,
to frame my tie,
hide my penis,
and cover my ass.

I buy black socks
for no real reason.
Maybe I'm just compelled to,

but my shiny shoes
are designed to attract women,
protect my red painted toenails,
hide my practical socks,
and protect my ankles
when dogs nip at my heels.

My cuff links
link my cuffs.

My tie pin
pins my tie.

And all are designed
to attract your eye
to my wonderful tie,
which I can't live without.

I must tie my neck down,
to keep my head on straight .

-BH

Whimsical Judgement

Bang the gavel

once or twice!

Bang it

once or twice

Again!

Bang it once
to rouse the spirit!

bang it twice

if you'll condemn!

bang it

three times!

Oh yes, three!

if there is something

worse in store!

Bang it

four times!

Make them cry!

and if they don't

then Bang some more!

-BH!

She is.

She's the love,
and I dreamt of her
while walking,

And I think of her
upon sleeping,

And I yearn for her,
even now.

And nothing as sweet
will touch these lips,

And she in aesthetics
crushes all form.

For men didn't make her,
Women didn't shape her;

She was shaped
by billions of years
of coincidence.

Or a very careful hand
with brilliant love,
and a passion for perfection.

She is my love,
and she is benevolence,
and she is absolution,
and she is.

BH

In America

I've never heard
of your home,

where you toil

under burning stars:

to breathe,

to perfect,

beautify,

this tiny stronghold;

still waving flags,

and traditions,

long ago rejected.

Your life

is of devotion,

to save

this miniscule fortress

of charm

and desolation,

and you smile

with hope;

but little spirit,

I've never heard

of your home

or your savior,

who you call

Freedom.

BH

Midnight in Columbia

I hear a bird chirpin'
It's past midnight
So he must be confused.

An unidentifiable insect
just ran across my notebook.
I've just killed it.

Its insides are smeared
across the letter "I"
and I

Immediately regret
doing what I just did.
That little fella didn't know...

I'm so sorry.

BH.

On to Heaven

See if you can find the rhythm. It might help to read out loud. I rarely read my stuff out loud, but I'll admit that this is one of the few that I enjoy to read and hear.

Years and weeks and days,
And time is just as still,
As rooms and rivers without love,
and something underneath it all
continues still to rise,
and right above this normal plane,
are fields of flowing laughter,
And we're just tryin' to get that high,
for something isn't right,
We get so high when we feel low,
and though it isn't real,
we're wrapped up in the feeling,
cause it's all we'll really know,
When we can see the stars,
but just as white polka-dot ceilings,
it's just that freedoms hard,
and when then it is put to thought,
we get the more uneasy
at the thought of being free,
our feet don't look as sturdy
when we take off into flight,
so look to left and right
and make a life of horizontals,
connect point A to B or C,
don't worry 'bout the depth,
cause once you start to rise
you see the houses get much smaller,
and sweat in clouds and rainbows,
because you can fall so far,
and losing heaven hurts so bad,
but did you ever ponder,
how ugly then
are streets of gold?

-BH

A note on Jimmy

People always told Jimmy
that he would probably be late for his own funeral.
I just don't understand
why they were so surprised
when he actually was...

-BH

What I do at Work...

So I wrote this as a direct stream of consciousness, which means that you can't judge too harshly. I basically do things like this all day at work. -BH

Sellin' this bullshit,
I'm not excited,
Jesse's sellin' bullshit,
he ain't excited,
Ari's sellin' bullshit,
she ain't excited,
Katlyn's sellin bullshit,
she ain't excited,
Emily's got the day off,
I'd be excited,
I'm writin' shit down,
Jesse's on the internet,
Ari's watchin' videos,
Wonder if we'll all regret,
Wastin' this time here,
Empty money, empty time,
I console myself with pens,
just to keep my soul sublime,
what's with this art man?
Want to make it for the world,
pay me so that I can fly,
to Greensboro to see my girl,
New York is like that,
skinny cats get fat,
feedin' off the people,
when we get cheese, we look like rats,
Mercury risin'
It's good because the winters cold,
Love is still in retrograde,
Souls are still worth less than pearls,
Who built that clock man?
Geez it's tickin' awful fast,
feels like time is speedin' up,
twenty twelve will be a blast,
While we're waitin' for a raise,
waitin' in this endless daze,
waitin' for the end of days,
wadin' in this empty haze,
I'm just a crab guys,
so I'm walkin' sideways...

For the Sake of...

Just bought a big
bottle of Sake.
I want people to think
I'm cool.
I'm gonna drink that sake,
'till I'm drunker than shit.
Then I'm gonna climb the
Empire State
and shout to the world;
"Hey world!
Ain't I cool!?:"
and if they say "no",
I'm gonna jump.

-BH
2-25-09
union square

I Have Issues

Why?
Because I've been watching this Video.
How often?
3 times a day
every day
for the past 3 or 4 weeks.

I have a problem.
But I'm not lookin' to give it up
anytime soon.

...Why the hell did I write it like a poem!?!?

When E.L. goes

I remember her as formless.
Something of a wisp,
Kissing the back of my neck.
A lucid memory,
Like mist around your ankles,
And leaves about your hair.

She stands in my heart,
As God stands in the details,
And the details are of space
And time.
Something distant sings,
In harmony with the wind.

Peering through my window,
Wrapped in cloud cover,
A stringed ornament is used
To catch the melody.
Love is in the currents,
As time is in the imagination.

No one blinks,
As light flows
Like firefly rivers.
That light is of her skin,
As hers is paired with mine,
As stars sing throughout space.

-BH

Holbrook Not Included

No man is an island,

except for me.

Nobody's perfect,

except for me.

Everybody makes mistakes,

except for me.

Every man is a king,

except for me.

Everybody plays the fool,

except for me.

Everybody hurts... sometimes...

...except for me...

Jesus loves everybody,

except for me.

Everybody is somebody,

except for me.

Everybody Wang Chung tonight!

except for me.

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down,

except for me.

Nobody escapes fate,

except for me.

Nobody likes a snitch,

except for me.

Everybody needs somebody,

except for me.

Everything is everything,

except for...

hmm,

that might not work.

-BH

Life Through the Void

Mothers in different colors

Assorted flavors

lining up.

Such a beautiful flock

of Divinity.

They thrust the fabric

of the cosmos

into being.

We all look upon it.

Revel in its majesty.

Rarely do we realize

the ethereal nature of who...

or the ephemeral nature

of God...

BH.