Neck. Tie.

I tie my neck to my shoulders
with silk and cloth,
argyle and tartan,
an inexplicable knot
of Gordian proportions.

I wear a lapelled jacket
to frame my tie,
accentuate it.
Black or blue,
because I have to.

And buy my pants
to match my jacket,
to tuck my shirt,
to frame my tie,
hide my penis,
and cover my ass.

I buy black socks
for no real reason.
Maybe I'm just compelled to,

but my shiny shoes
are designed to attract women,
protect my red painted toenails,
hide my practical socks,
and protect my ankles
when dogs nip at my heels.

My cuff links
link my cuffs.

My tie pin
pins my tie.

And all are designed
to attract your eye
to my wonderful tie,
which I can't live without.

I must tie my neck down,
to keep my head on straight .

-BH

Whimsical Judgement

Bang the gavel

once or twice!

Bang it

once or twice

Again!

Bang it once
to rouse the spirit!

bang it twice

if you'll condemn!

bang it

three times!

Oh yes, three!

if there is something

worse in store!

Bang it

four times!

Make them cry!

and if they don't

then Bang some more!

-BH!